Courage, trooper. England's side could be heading into the next Ashes Test already 2-0 down, yet some remain within the England setup is fazed. Exists one collective ideally equipped for this scenario, a dedicated unit who can lay claim to be the ultimate masters of adversity. Are hopes dashed? Are you crushed beneath the burden of unmet expectation? Well then, rally to the Barmy Army.
Even now, their first wave are moving in on Adelaide, the city where they officially formed 30 years ago. England's best-known – and by headcount most raucous – tourist followers will be hoping for an celebratory against-all-odds victory, similar to the one they celebrated on that 1994-95 tour. But whatever happens on the pitch, off it the celebrations will be protracted and hearty.
"England's performance been very, very disappointing," one founder concedes, "but we're the lucky ones, because we're on holiday. It's likely harder for the people at home."
Even a dramatic batting collapse can't shake this crew of hardened veterans. They've been watching England's batting collapse since before many current players started playing. They've witnessed more fielding errors than some bowlers have international dismissals. Their collective record as an Ashes touring group stands at: played 37, lost 27, won 6. Those who knows how to survive a whitewash, that would be the founding members.
Certainly, if you're watching, the Barmy Army appear to be all over in this contest. Host broadcasters at the grounds sometimes appear more interested in the Barmies than in their own fans. TV partners often use them as entertainment-focused buildup to a day's play. Even the players on the field are heralding them, as a supporter portraying a king leading a rendition of a patriotic song.
One could argue that the Barmy Army's mix of endurance and visibility has now masked quite how remarkable their dominance of tourist following has been. Three decades ago a small group followers were brought together in good-natured humour about failure at England's poor away record. In the present day their reputation is so linked with the men's Test side that their boisterous, "unconventional" crowd is practically an accepted institution. They've definitely come a long way since the early days.
One original still remembers the eager expectation of the series start of that formative tour. After the Australians building a solid score, he led a modest conga in the stands, teasing the Australian supporters with a chant about convicts. "Home supporters hurled abuse at us, then threw drink containers – the stuff that we sometimes receive today," he remembers. "But when we got back our small band of England followers had all joined in."
After defeat, England's tour faced further difficulties. Anyone travelling with the team around the country surely was truly dedicated. By the time the bigger venues their ranks had grown to the hundreds. Those on the field, however, truly appreciated their support at the grounds. When England managed a consolation win, a senior player invited a fan leader up to the players' area to lead the revelry. Such camaraderie has endured.
Furthermore, the significant volume the Barmy Army can attract are as valuable to the cricket authorities as they are to international stadiums. For this series alone, their official tours will host thousands of supporters. All kinds of activities are scheduled for the 30th anniversary.
This is, in the end, an group born of cricketing passion and commercial nous. The explanation they trace their origin to a particular match is because that was when they started offering merchandise. The first small batch was so quickly sold out – and profitable – that it began a commercial operation. Since then, the original members have helped turn a pub-based supporters into an respected sports tourism business.
That creates its own challenges, particularly at a time when sport is trying to lose some of its boisterous image. The Barmy Army's directors are eager to highlight that a growing percentage of their travelling fans are now women. With societal shifts, the songs have had to get less offensive, too. "Language that you'd say 30 years ago you must avoid now, and that's as it should be," says a director. "It's not possible to tell someone how to behave within the confines of their seat, but we do not endorse songs that are offensive."
Will the Barmy Army mellow naturally? The demographic is now nearing their fifth decade – like the pioneers, who have been content to step away from the management. One founder is enjoying this tour purely as a punter – leaving young professionals to run the Barmy Army's digital presence. "It's easy to overlook how hard it used to be to communicate with each other," he laughs. "Our method was all by word of mouth – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Regarding the current contest, the faint hope of a series victory persists, which is very mid-90s indeed. In the event England succumb in Adelaide … well, future travels is always an option.
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